Since
I can't put an exact number on it, just take my word when I say the number of
times a team has reached the Need To Watch level (surpassing the Have To Watch
level), making me physically get off my ass and call my
buddies to go out and view them, is very few. For instance, right now I can only
recall three major times in the past decade when seeing a game from anywhere but
the stadium wasn't an option:1)
'03 Rangers vs. Oakland - We were only a couple games out of first place in the
West! I know you shake your head at things like this now, but back then it was
unheard of. The only games we used to win were
preseason matchups against Pittsburgh, and even those were questionable. A
memory I'll never forget is watching Dellucci drive a liner to right field, only
to have it soar directly under a diving Jermaine Dye's glove and bounce back to
the wall, bringing in two
runners for the win. Seriously, that was Angels In the Outfield-type shit. All
that was missing was Christopher Lloyd pissing off Danny Glover from the
dead.2)
'06 Cowboys vs. Packers - Regrettably, I was unable to score tickets to this
one. But trust me, this was one of those that you had stuck in your mind from
Sunday night to kickoff. However, I had no clue that fan
favorite (and player that Cowboys fans most likely couldn't pick out of a
lineup) Miles Austin would make the biggest grab of the night, putting Dallas
atop the NFC with only a few weeks remaining in the season.3)
2010 Stars Post-Trade Deadline - I only group the games during the second half
of the season together because that's when the decision was made to keep
Richards and make a balls-out run to the postseason. Sure, they missed, but it
was
exciting hockey in a city that lacked it for a number of years. Good or bad, we
needed that late season surge.(I
didn't count postseasons, the obligatory get off your ass times of the
year.)And
I only bring all that up to say I think we've reached that level again. After
the smoke cleared from all the circling trade rumors, and the team stayed
intact, the Stars have been playing with such an incredible energy that it made
me travel
from Houston just to catch a game. Lucky for you (but not really), I decided to
log it too. Let's pick up at dinner ...
5:46 – Fiiine. They also have a ton of hot girls. Is that what you wanted to hear?! Jeez.
5:57 – An argument quickly ensues over who our waitress looks like. I can’t quite put my finger on it.
6:04 – Tip of the day to all my broke college readers: If you want a high quality meal from Hooters, order the Steak Sandwich, no cheese. They literally bring out a slab of steak in between two pieces of bread. Just remove the dough
miami heat jersey and dive in. Don’t worry about the looks of awkwardness your table and everyone around will give you. Just enjoy that you’ve outsmarted all of them.
6:35 – Immediately after dinner, I separated from that group to meet up with my buddy Joby, who had purchased the tickets.
6:36 – Vegas is laying 2-1 odds that Joby is higher than Willie Nelson.
6:45 – After taking three bites before laughing and mentioning his corndog is burnt, I run to the bathroom and dial Vegas to double down on my bet.
6:52 – After grabbing a round of beers, he goes on to tell me about a Bone
cheap jerseys china Thugs-N-Harmony cover band he saw the other night that involved a swaying guitarist and an 8 months-pregnant lead singer. I start wondering if Vegas already closed their books and began paying out.
7:10 – Obviously, I drove from a pretty good distance because I was expecting a Reunion Arena atmosphere. After all, everything pointed in that direction. The Stars were on a streak, they had kept their core from being dealt, and this was a division game in which the Sharks were only a few points away from us. So needless to say I was a bit disappointed when a little under 700 people were in attendance with only 15 minutes left until faceoff.
7:11 – I decide not to let everyone else ruin my good time. If anything, I’m just going to drink myself into this game.
7:20 – Is there any way we can get the league to sanction a “General Admission” rule? Think about it. I understand that the Original Six and other northern hockey teams have no problems selling tickets, but what about the other struggling franchises? What if we sold tickets at a flat rate of $19 ($20 sounds too high when you’re selling this idea to people), labeling them all as “General Admission”. Now, not only do fans come out early since they get to pick their seats, but the lower bowl is the first section to fill up, tricking everyone watching at home into thinking that the place is actually sold out. Nobody (especially the players) enjoys seeing the casual fan stroll in halfway through the second period, or even worse, an empty arena (Jaguars fans just lit their computer on fire). This seems like a can’t miss idea.
7:31 – Why am I just now hearing about this run-out? It’s perfect! In fact, I’m trying to figure out some way to switch it with my current podcast intro without you noticing.
7:52 – I’ve now talked myself into drinking for the sanctity of the sport. Like golf needs that guy that belts out “IT’S IN THE HOOOLE!” every time Tiger drives on a Par 5, hockey needs me.
8:06 – It’s apparently time for the Choctaw Giveaway. According to the PA announcer, if your section number is shown on the jumbo screen, you win a free $20 voucher to Oklahoma’s most luxurious casino. And guess what section won it?? You’re damn right. If that wasn’t a sign from God that I need to continue my betting ways for the good of mankind, I don’t know what is.
8:30 – Wait. Foam fingers still exist?
8:30 – What was that? You want me to give you my top five power rankings for foam fingers? I don’t kn….Well, ok.
5) Oregon used to make an O-shaped foam hand. Not sure if they’re still around, but if so, they either A) have a variety of new colors you can buy every year, or B) are sponsored by Nike, therefore resulting in a mass development of spikes that poke out of the fingers.
4) Though a bit controversial for the rankings, Home Depot has a giant foam hammer they used to sell. Not sure when fans received the chance to use them, but that’s not my problem.
3) The Miami Heat currently distribute a foam hand with three fingers sticking up, having Bosh, Wade, or Lebron written on one of them. I also like to refer to those fingers as ones that won’t have rings.
2) Busta Rhymes used to sell foam hands that had “Put Both Hands Where My Eyes Can See” inscribed on the palm. I can’t make this stuff up.
1) What else but the Stone Cold middle finger will ever own the top spot?
8:53 – If you think I’m drunk, the guy in front of me just cheered louder than any fan in the AAC when the first note of “It’s My Life” played over the PA.
8:59 – Ryder scores the first goal of the game, giving him 29 for the season. And if my sources are correct, that only leaves him 3 shy of tying Hull’s record for most goals (32) by a first year Star.
9:10 – Sharks even it up with .4 left to play in the second. I blame that goal on myself. The beer caught up and I couldn’t hold it any longer.
9:14 – Does anyone ever wave back to the fans that are riding the zamboni during intermission? Will I get taken directly to the ward if I do? This seems like an experiment for a later date.
10:20 – Excuse the lapse of time. Just know Stars won 4-3 in a shootout, and the rest of that hour was spent searching for a nearby bar to watch the Mavs collapse continue.
11:00 – Our waitress looks like Rhianna. So there’s that.
11:15 – It finally hits me. Our Hooters waitress looked exactly like Cobie Smulders. My buddy Sean quickly claims I only think that because she looks like a generic white girl. Harsh, but possibly true, even though when I hear generic white girl I immediately think of Heather Graham.
11:59 – I called the collapse. It’s too easy to predict nowadays.
All that was left was the long drive home. And sure, the night wasn’t perfect, but atleast I can say I was one of the few who got up and attempted to make a difference.
Atleast we reached that level again.
From to branch to branch as so lightly you bound,
